The Cone Chronicles

I ponder my favorite cones, on the occasion of my little bro's time in a cone that is Not My Favorite Kind of Cone.

Recently my little brother found himself the bearer of what is colloquially known as "The Cone of Shame." His regular routines became very inconvenient, as the big giant cone was constantly in his way. Did I tastefully chuckle at his expense? Perhaps. Let's not dwell on that though. We're here to discuss my two favorite kinds of cone:


  • Ice cream cones

  • Orange traffic cones, of any size

It is true that I do not get an ice cream cone as often as I deserve one (daily). Even with my woefully limited experience, I still consider myself an expert on them. A couple of months ago I discovered that there are peanut butter and cheese ice creams for dogs! What a find. Although they were good, I will reveal to you, and only to you, that I prefer a good human vanilla ice cream. Ideally, it's a bowl that one of my humans is trying to enjoy, because then it becomes ice cream AND entertainment when I sneak in there.


Now let's talk orange traffic cones. Not only do they promote safety, but if you see spot one on your walking route, they are also a hotbed of information. Similar to a fire hydrant, a traffic cone is a must-visit for any dog worth it's mettle. I'd like to end with a note on smaller-sized orange cones. I come across these in the yard from time-to-time, typically when the family is trying to set up bases or a goal for a ball-centric game. If YOU see one, here's what you do -- wait for an important, game-changing moment, and then dash out there and steal the cone!! So easy.


As for my brother, don't worry. He annihilated the cone in the picture, and now has the kind of cone that humans put around their necks on long plane rides. And a week from now, he'll be a free man!

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