A treat split in two. . .does not count as two treats

A Letter to my intern

Dear intern,

it has come to my attention that you persist in splitting a treat in half, and then give half to me and half to my bro, cool. we have discussed this on multiple occasions, which is why i am forced to give you my most disappointed look.

did you know that dogs are math superstars? it's true. Why just the other day, i made a giant pile of precisely seven sticks. Why? because i didn't want just six. i knew i needed one more, ergo math. also, i am sorry (not really) that i was forced to ruin your bushes to obtain stick number seven. let's not dwell on that. as they say, "what's done is done."

going forward, now that you know that i know about the treat-splitting, please refrain from this activity. you simply cannot take one treat and turn it into two. the math just doesn't work.

sincerely,

Mrs. R. Snugglesworth, Attorney-at-Law